There are Worse Things
by Brigette Janine
Summary: She stayed by his side all night, the nightmares of Ishval were always the worst. After his fight with Bradley, Roy Mustang goes through a painful recovery with his loyal subordiante by his side. One-shot, Royai if you squint. Reviews are appreciated!


Just a bit of fluff I thought of at 10 pm. Hope you like it.

Disclaimer: I don't own FMA.

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Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye sat vigilantly by her superior's bedside. She had stayed with him since he had been admitted to the hospital two days ago. They said there had been severe blood loss and tissue damage, but that he would recover. Then they dealt her a blow that almost made her faint. Roy Mustang might never see out of his left eye again.

This was her fault, she told herself, if she had arrived faster to the Fuhrer's mansion sooner, she could have helped. But she didn't, so she spent the subsequent two days keeping silent vigil over her commanding officer. Sometimes he would stir in his sleep, muttering incoherently.

Last night had been the worst. He was having nightmares of his past.

"Mother," he called, "father. Don't leave me. No," he tossed and turned restlessly. Riza never knew anything about Roy's childhood, except that his parents died when he was young.

The situation changed, "Master," he had moaned, referring to her father, "Master, don't go. You still have to teach me..." his bandaged right hand made scrabbling movements on the rough hospital blanket, as if trying to snap his fingers. She reached out to grab his hand, but he unconsciously snatched it away.

The worst memories were the ones from Ishval. "This wasn't what I wanted," he sobbed, tears streaking down his face. "They're innocent lives, how could we do this." He clutched his blankets like a frightened child. His words had been reduced to moans and whimpers. He clutched his heart and shouted, "Let me die!" He settled back down, shivering, as though freezing. She went to brush the hair off his sweaty forehead and felt the heat radiating off his skin.

She got out of the chair for the first time in over thirty-six hours. Shouting out into the hallway, she called, "Nurse, he's spiking a fever!"

The young nurse entered the room and checked his fever and bandages. "He's in a shaky position right now. The fever is fighting off any infection that might show up. I don't want to give him anything just yet. This is the best I can do," she handed Riza a cool, damp towel, "If he gets any worse, or throws up, call me."

Riza laid the cool towel over the Flame Alchemist's brow. While it slowed the progress of the illness, the nightmares continued.

"Hughes," he muttered, "you promised. You said you'd support me, Hughes," his face calmed, as though he was actually talking to Maes again, "I guess you're right. We did what we needed to, now we can only wait."

After that, the Colonel had settled into a semi-restful sleep, occasionally muttering or calling out a name. It wasn't until dawn on the third day that he spoke again. Riza had drifted asleep, but was awoken by someone calling her name.

"Riza." It was quiet, almost a whisper.

Again, "Riza." A bit stronger than the first time.

"Lieutenant Hawkeye."

Riza jerked awake, looking for the sound of the voice.

"It's about time you woke up," said Roy Mustang from his hospital bed.

Hawkeye's chocolate brown eyes brimmed with tears, "You scared us, sir," she whispered.

"Yeah," said the Flame Colonel, looking around the room, "What happened? I feel like I was hit by a truck."

"After your fight with Bradley, you managed to escape the mansion with his son, but he-"

"I was too late to save the poor kid," he said, his unbandaged eye filled with regret.

"It's not your fault, sir," Riza started, "if I had escaped from Archer sooner-"

Mustang held up a hand, "Stop. Don't take the all the blame for yourself. What happened after that? All I can remember is walking out of the mansion, seeing Archer and blacking out."

"He was going to shoot you, but I managed to stop him in time," Riza said quietly, "I saw you were still alive, so I tried to bring you here as fast as possible. You've lost a lot of blood, and the nurse said that there's some tissue damage, but that you'll be all healed in a week, now that you're awake and the fever's gone. But-" she couldn't continue.

"But what?" he asked, "What is it?" She didn't answer him. "Dammit, Hawkeye, tell me what happened!"

"They- they said- that you wouldn't be able to see out of your left eye again." She blurted out. With this pronouncement, the tears finally began to flow freely.

He slowly lifted his fingers to his bandaged eye, as if trying to feel if the information was true or not. Realization dawned on his young face, followed by what looked like relief. He turned to his subordinate, "Why are you crying, Lieutenant?"

She looked at him, astonished, "You've lost your eye because I was too slow to save you. It's my fault that you lost half your vision."

"No," he said sternly, bringing the blond woman's tears up short. "First, I lost my eye because I, and I alone, went into single combat with a homunculus. That was my choice. Second, you arrived in time to save my life not once, but twice, once from Archer, and then you brought me to this hospital. Third and finally," he paused, "there are worse things you could lose for the betterment of one's country than an eye."

Riza looked at him shocked. Was this young, sometimes foolish, idealistic Colonel really saying these things?

"Maes Hughes gave his life to protect this country, and I gave half my vision. To quote Fullmetal, it's equivalent exchange for the stability of my home."

"But, there's so much left to do," interjected Hawkeye, "there's the reestablishment of the republic and then we need to find a new leader. How are you going to become Fuhrer with one eye? It's not fair."

Mustang held up a hand, "Fair and equal are two completely different things." He readjusted himself in bed, "And as for my aspirations to become Fuhrer, you promised to watch my back. I guess now you need to watch my left side too."

Riza smiled and gave a small salute, "Yes, sir."

Mustang yawned, "Now, where can I get some water? I'm dying of thirst." He reached his hands up to stretch, causing his face to pale, and then turn a delicate shade of green. "Ok," he winced, "no stretching for a while."

Riza Hawkeye laughed for the first time in a week, and knew deep down inside that everything would end up fine.

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I combined parts of the anime and manga here, because there's so much more tragedy in Roy's life in the manga.

I couldn't help but add in equivalent exchange. It was too perfect.

So, R&R, because I wanna know what you think!!

Happy almost Easter!!!

~~BJ


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